Welcome to my Mundane life

2012-01-18T07:13:00.001+08:00

hohoho there is grass growing here already.
sophie was here :D
ilu

You can call me Goldfish.

2011-06-30T19:07:00.003+08:00

well, i dont know if it is an upgrade or a downgrade. i am more or less became a Goldfish. probably because of my short term memory.

my girlfriend kept bugging me to blog about stuffs, but as time goes by and stuffs get snowballed, dont you just wanna . . . skip the whole shit and just talk about recent things?

alright, what i am going to share with you guys is:

6 REASONS why i dont think i need a license at the moment of my life(22 years old).

Reason number 1.

I dont have a car.

in the past, my family has a car. but thanks to my dad, who drank and drive, the car got impounded. and his license got revoked as well. and hence, after that, we lost our car. apparently, a house without license dont need to own a car, and find no reason to own one.

Reason number 2.

I cant afford a car.

since there is no family car, might as well get one right? but who will pay for all the taxes and fuel? definitely not my dad, since he is too lazy to retake his license. me? transiting to adult life makes my wallet shrink, as well as my pocket my bank account my etc. i cant even own an iPhone.

Reason number 3.

Car parks. Pfft.

even with the rise of COE and fuel prices, there are still tons of cars on Singapore roads. with that many cars, there is bound to be enough place to whole all of them right? WRONG. finding car park spaces is a serious problem out there. i can take a public transport and reach a place in 30 minutes, while i can, too, drive a car to the same place in 10 minutes, and spend the next 20 minutes to find a parking lot. cost effective? Hell no. and the 20 minutes varies. it all goes down to luck. if i am lucky, 1 minute will be enough. if i am not, i might circle to different car parks in order to get that blockhead parked. and sometimes, i probably walk another 1 km to the place i really want to go.

Reason number 4.

Traffic jams.

to me, traveling to crowded places is not as efficient as last time using a car. because EVERYONE is traveling to the same place. and because not everyone is a safe driver, accidents do happen. and when it happens, it doesnt affect the party involved with the accident, it affects EVERYONE. well, only EVERYONE who is so unlucky enough to travel on the same path on the same direction to the same destination. and in the end, public transport will be even faster to reach either home or destination (bus and taxi might accept the same fate with all the road users, but MRT wouldnt *wink*)

Reason number 5.

I cannot multitask.

Driving means Driving. Eyes in front, on the left mirror, on the top mirror, on the right mirror and back at front. Hands on steering wheel or that stick on the left, or right if not in Singapore. the most you can do is talk about how sucky the traffic has become and pray there is no jam because of either road closure or accidents. On the other hand, if i am on a bus or MRT, i could get to my destination, at the same time (varies, ALOT.), and read my book, do my math, surf the web, masturbate, wait, wrong. cancel last.

What i mean is i can do a lot of things at the same time and get to the place i want to be. MAGIC!

Reason number 6.

Save the Earth.

people probably going to say i am just another retarded thinking that my one little effort is going to extend the Earth's life span. well, if everything thinks like that, of course Earth is doomed. what i am saying is, FOR NOW, i dont need a car. i can, for as long as i could, dont use that hell bounded vehicle that is killing Earth slowly. i can save some fuel to power the power stations to power my, lets say, laptop.

... ...

i am not saying that i will NEVER drive in the future. i am just implying that, for now, 22 years old, i dont see the point of getting a 4 wheels. i am still in the military, i am going to start schooling, i am not going to work anytime soon. Equate that to ... I HAVE NO MONEY!

and hence, i start to whine and nag and complain, and made up this 6 reasons just to soothe myself.

well on the good side of note, i just finish my close combat training. i am going for 2 oversea trip in the month of July. i am going to ORD, soon.

and then back to mugging. *insert Mug picture*

Not in the state of mind

2011-05-22T22:19:00.000+08:00

I dont know what i want.

I dont know what i dont know.

But,

I do know what i dont want.

That is to leave you.

What i dont want in the future.

2011-05-20T23:53:00.002+08:00

behold, long lost entry. with a tint of sadness.

things got me worked up, and i feel all of a sudden, very sad. so a little background of what my train of thoughts led me.

so, i come from a complete family, with a father, and a mother, and a sister, plus a brother. but that is what filled up the picture frame. though people say pictures speaks a thousand words, you dont find this picture anywhere in my house.

so what we dont have a family photo? what does it constitute to? well, not that i demand a family picture, but for what i can say is, we are drifting apart, long time ago, till a point i dont even know we can get back or not.

since secondary school, kids like my age tend to be more rebellious. what does that mean? it would mean not listening to adult's advice, acting like an adult but an immature one, having fun at first priority, etc.

and hence, i spend more time with friends than family. and probably from a habit, it became a lifestyle. and it is not good i would say. i dont "connect" with my family, at all, for years. i know nothing of what my family do, what they like i have forgotten, what they really want i dont recall. and whenever i get home, each of us is in its own world.

i dont know how close my siblings are to my parents and vice versa, but i know one thing, I am not close to all my family members. what they know of me, is just a memory. like the stuffs i like to eat, are things of a past. my mother would think i love them in the past, and i would love them now, but do i? that is just an example.

and recently activities like my brother is getting upset because of a broken heart, me being the eldest, i can do nothing to help him. he just painstakingly endured it, without anyone helping him. parents not around, sister couldnt be much of a help, and i just . . . sms him.

i couldnt face him. i couldnt be right next to him, giving him man to man talk. i could do it to anyone in my army's battery, but i cant do it with him. and i seriously have no idea why.

and my parents, i have no idea what are they thinking. though we can manage living on our own, but i can see from my sister's eyes she missed them, a lot. and my brother, trying to act tough as usual, missed them too.

i missed them too, but i guess they just cant feel it, all the way from here.

so back to the topic, what i dont want in the future, is to see my family fall apart. from our lifestyle, we are not bonded, at all. but we are to drift even more, i guess i couldnt call it a family anymore. though we are bonded by blood, but the things we do, seriously, what are we?

i can rant and rant all i want, but it cant change anything. i am one of the cause of the problem too. and now my brother is picking up my footstep. THIS IS NOT GOOD.

i dont want to go back home and just face the walls.
i dont want to go back home and all i do is just smile at my mom and she just smile back like nothing is wrong.
i dont want to go back home and all we do is just facing the technology like TV or monitor screen and get on with life like this.

this is not home. this is not home.

it has to start somewhere. I have to start somewhere.

But where?

I am lost.

Back

2011-03-15T18:15:00.001+08:00

well i touched down 2 days ago. and thailand wasnt fun.

laze at home, is a good thing. if you pick the correct company. =)

thailand again.

2011-02-23T22:29:00.000+08:00

i am leaving on an airplane tomorrow. literally.

i am a mistake

2011-02-20T22:15:00.002+08:00

ahh. it's been long. what i see from my last post, i am suppose to write some flame post. as far as i see, i dont have the feeling anymore. what i want to say, if you continue to put up your fucking attitude, you will cry alone at your own deathbed.

i am such a failure.

why cant i remember important things? are these important things not important to me? why cant i just fucking remember? why my mind blanked out when situation happened?

i so fucking hate myself. i am not fit to. i dont deserve to.

why do i promise to change, but still revert back the same?

why cant i remember what i promise?

i am a mistake. i am an error. i am not fit to live, to love, to survive.

it is suppose to be a nice outing, before i fly, but it ended so miserably. why. WHY

i screwed up. i am screwed up. i screwed it up.

pathetic. i hate myself. once again.

Stay Tune

2011-01-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

Because i am going to craft an epic flame post. Just need to find time for it. Going outfield next week. Probably will need to wait. I cant wait to see how many people like my post, or none will, because no one wants to be the bad guy to tell someone how annoy that someone is.

Come on, you guys expect someone to change by not doing anything?

Let there be light. And see you in hell.

Delusional

2011-01-14T22:12:00.000+08:00

Wake the fuck up. Wake the fuck up. Wake the fuck up.

Wake the fuck up.

Lets end this.

2010-12-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

You shall be non-existance from now on. Kthxbye.

:)

My World just Shrink.

2010-12-19T19:09:00.002+08:00

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated.

"Hopes, dangles on a string.
Like slow spinning redemption.
Winding in and Winding out.
The shine of it has caught my eye."

Times like this i really want to cry. i am never close to understand a woman's heart. things that i do is benefitting, or just making the matter worse.

Maybe i am still the same old me. the same old selfish me. the same old selfish pitiful me.

Faber Drive - Tongue Tied.

"Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time."

It is a good song. i often listen to it when i feel down. Songs some time can sing out your sorrow, your misery. sometimes you just cant words to fit your feeling. and that sometimes, you just need songs.

Relient K - Who i am Hates who i've been

"'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
In the saddest state it's ever been."

...

"I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been."

my all time favorite. i have been listening to this since secondary school? bear in mind it is not the rock version. listen to the acoustic one and be ready to tear if you happen to be in my shoe.

Relient K - There was no Thief

"For a time I thought there was a thief among us
I thought I'd track him down but prior to my pursuit
The smoke had cleared and to my disbelief
There was no thief cause it was me
That lost you"

Relient K is really inspiring. They were, are my favorite band. they make so many good songs, and this, was one of the best.

Good doesnt mean emo. it is just that emotional songs often sing the true feelings of us human.

Hedley - For the Night i cant remember

"Me, I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire
I need you to know I will
Believe me girl I'm so tired of running
I just wanna hold your hand
Stare at you like you've got everything I need"

sometimes, i really dont know how to handle some situation. i always like to think of things in alot of different ways. but sometime, there are too many 'what if'. and that sometimes, make me handle things too weakly.

Hedley - Perfect

"I'm not perfect but I keep trying cause that's what I said I would do from the start.
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave. Was it something I said or just my personality?"

Simple Plan - Perfect

"Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect"

my feelings overwhelm me at times. clouding my judgement, making me lose my temper. sometimes i just wonder why i didnt do this, i didnt do that. sometimes i just wonder, why didnt you do this, why didnt you do that. and sometimes i just wonder.

this are all the what if. choices in life. but if i get to choose again, i will still choose the same thing, that is to love you.

12 Stones - It was you

"It was you
That showed me who I am
And taught me how to stand
For what I know is real"

you told me about our difference. you told me we are too different. you said you are tired. you said you are scared.

i told you opposite attracts. i told you in the midst of the difference, we are the same. i told you i am scared too; i am scared of losing you.

David Cook - Come back to me

"So i'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me"

I'm sorry.

Buckcherry - Sorry

"I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry"

p.s. i love you

Why.

2010-12-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

I feel so helpless. When a friend in need and all i can do is . . .

This is one thing i hate. When i cannot fully control things that can be controlled.

Grr. I need a drink. Probably some sleep.

Being a Personal Assistant

2010-11-16T15:36:00.003+08:00

well, today i surprise my girl by taking an off and not telling her. woke up at 6.45am and rush over and waited by her house just to send her to school.

in the midst of it, she lost her specs. yes, i know. the thing that you wear on your face. she can lose it. she can lose anything. apparently, she took them off when she want to take a photograph together. and forgotten to wear it back and left it by her side, on a bus.

so, we went to sit in for a class and she had difficulty reading the board. so i gave her my specs, and i told her i will go and get contact lens for her, as well as heading down to lost and found section of the bus interchange to see if i can get it back.

after circling the shopping center, the specs shop opened. i bought 30 contact lens, ( it comes with a box, duh ) for about $50 plus dollars. and then, the bus interchange called. they found the specs.

i am not blaming anyone or anything. i am just saying, if i didnt buy the contact lens, the specs might not be found. like i pay $50 dollars just to get things found, and i got contact lens for free. not bad huh. thinking positive.

so after i went back to find her, she was already in her next lecture. after the lecture, she suffered from serious stomach ache. and now, after lunch, she is resting beside me, on her bed, in her bunk, in NTU. just hoping she will get well after sleeping through the aches.

still got half a day more. i see what else interesting might have popped out.

and by the way, i made a twitter, again.

this time it wouldnt be as boring as last time when there is only me and phil twitter-ing.

Not Happy

2010-10-15T17:51:00.000+08:00

I find myself to selfish. Too selfish that it is hurting people around me. I should keep myself in some asylum. To stop hurting people.

I need to stop.

Thin air

2010-10-05T17:58:00.000+08:00

It is easy to disappear. Very easy.

Have Heart

2010-09-20T23:18:00.002+08:00

Words are a powerful tool. it helps people measure how much they mean to each other.

imagine a stranger went up to you and say you are ugly. how would you feel? i would probably feel nothing, because i have people who knows me and think otherwise. though i too know i am not handsome, but i am not hella hideous right? xD

so imagine again, a friend who knows you went up to you and say you are ugly. how would you feel? you probably will feel devastated.

and hence, if people do care about what you say to them, they probably do care what you think of them. and when they do, it means you means something to them. even if they can deny all they want, but you are already a part of their lifes.

so we can deny all we want, but i just want to say, i love all of you. you guys have shaped me into someone i am now, and i am loving myself for that. troubles do come and go, but if we sit down and talk about it OPENLY, nothing is impossible.

and i sounded fucking gay. okay, i hate myself for this part.

Gee

2010-09-20T05:59:00.000+08:00

... i need some sleep.

god damn humans.

I'm using you, my little decoy

2010-09-19T18:19:00.000+08:00

We are not blind. Our senses are not dull. Stop using other people as decoy to fake what really is happening.

Not saying anything doesnt mean we don care. We are just waiting for the truth to shine itself.

And you, stop being so stupid and emotional over protecting something that you should not.

Retards. Burn in hell you whole lot.

Corrupted

2010-09-18T10:31:00.000+08:00

Today is the day. But i dont feel happy at all. Why?

Complication will lead to death, eventually.

2010-09-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

Death doesnt really means dying. It could be a feeling, a sense, a moment.

If there is nothing to hide, why avoid? The more you try to avoid, the more complication you caused.

No one will blame anyone. As love is a mystery. Some people just need that clear cut answer to get the clock moving, if not time will just freeze at that nasty moment and not move on.

And not moving on will just cause misery and pain and eventually, numb. A death of a feeling. A death of love.

No one will call anyone names. For love is blind. Instead i will give my blessing. Because when it comes to love, it is always the case of 'may the best man win'. If you can provide happiness to the woman you love, that is the most commendable thing to do on this Earth.

Recent events have made me a sinful man. Making me lose some friends, making me to start avoid people. Having the fear of my phone vibrating is one of the worst feeling. I was trying to help, in the end i made everything worse. I was doing stuff to save the situation, but it didnt come out as expected. But all i wanted is to help.

This must be what adulthood is. I remember in the past, i did blog about my fear of stepping into adult's world. I need to find that post and repost it. And i think i have only seen the tip of an iceberg of what an adult have seen.

Well, 21 consisted me as an adult right? ;P

Attention. I have 1 month more

2010-08-18T19:52:00.002+08:00

i have one month more to look nicer in my number 1 uniform. zzz i look damn weird in them. with the peak cap and suit. totally not me.

1 more month, and i shall be free. i guess so. but tons of other things will weigh down on me. man, i want to get out of the organization.

baby isnt around. when i am so free. damn. they took 16 days away from me, and now she is taken away from me by her university friends. but never mind, i can tahan.

i still owe my friends a drink. or a couple of them. but never mind, we can all one shot drink after 1 month. and i would probably be dead drunk. just hope i can tahan a few cups first. i think i cannot drink anymore. the smell of alcohol can make me puke first liao.

i didnt knew drawing of uniforms can take a morning and afternoon. zzz.

Third Letter

2010-08-01T00:33:00.000+08:00

Hey baby,

If you havent read the other 2 letters, dont bother reading this :) but good job

If you found this after reading the 2, congratulation!

By the time you read this, i am already in thailand. But that doesnt mean i am not around anymore. I am still here, just not physically.

16 days can be very fast, provided you keep yourself occupy. I strongly urge you to do so. Because days without me and not doing anything will result in a lot of bad stuffs.

I just want you to know that i love you, and i miss you, so freaking bad.

Signning off,
SerChin

PS: i will be back in your arms in no time

Counting down

2010-07-18T22:40:00.000+08:00

Hello. It's been so long that i enter any entry.

No, not that i have forgotten. It is that my writing spirit isnt there anymore.

I even stop writing my journal entry real life.

Yes, i have a diary.

No, not a personal one. It was a necessary thing when you enter offical cade course. But after jumping to field artillery, then to 24sa, the spirit just lost in transition.

Life so far has been good. Just that i couldnt wait till i ORD.

Yes, i know it is still far.

Yes, i know i should stop dreaming and get a hang of myself.

No, i dont like to talk to myself.

Wait, good night, peace out.

You spin my head right round right round

2010-06-13T19:25:00.002+08:00

zzz. last night was whacked. i got dead drunk and i puked like a merlion. the most epic one was i puked right out the car through the window, with the car still moving. the whole side of the car got stained from my release. and i dont even know how i get my ass out of the car and into my girl's room.

hangover is nasty. i didnt eat the whole day today even my girl keep forcing food down my throat. whatever i eat, i throw them out within minutes.

luckily i feel much better after some 100 plus and a nice movie. A Team was a blast. but i was half dizzy so most of the fast pace part i just saw blurs.

i would like to thank my girlfriend for being there to take care of me throughout the night. i feel sorry to make her feel so tired. but this aint going to be the last time though xD

i would like to thank my bros for making me dead drunk. fucking bitches, you guys watch out, for all of you will need to crawl back home if there is drinking involved during my birthday.

last of all, Happy Birthday Kenny. though tomorrow is the actual day. =)

The world dont revolve around you

2010-06-07T02:15:00.000+08:00

I dont understand why you like to hang up people's call like nobody business and then sms them to continue the conversation. And if they reply slow, you call them again just to hang up on them again.

If your attitude continues, i am afraid you really will see yourself alone with no one to turn to. Your attitude is getting bad to worse. I really pity your boyfriend, and i really wish you could just stop torturing him.

And i should think like a human? You should probably stop acting everyone dont know how you feel, everyone just feel too fucked up to decode your fucked up signals to please you. The world revolves around no one.

Wake up your fucking senses can? Attention seeking is so . . . 80's.

6 more days

2010-05-16T06:25:00.000+08:00

How to get markmens when we sleep at 1 and wake up at 5? I forsee alot of re shoot.

Finally, 1 more week to go. Friday is near, i can smell it. After enduring for so long and making my girl wait so long, finally some breather.

I am starting to imagine my life after national service. What is it going to like? Studying will be 1 thing, but between the enrolling and the ord, there is bound to be a gap, a break to be exact.

What will i do? What can i do? Maybe i will use the spare today to think about it.

Ps: i finish percy jackson 5 books. Now proceeding to dan brown's the lost symbol.

17 days more

2010-05-07T05:51:00.001+08:00

Tests after tests. Testing all our understanding.

Today another whole day of test. Damn . . . Plus we dont get to book out. Ouch.

18 days more

2010-05-05T04:54:00.001+08:00

1 day exercise coming up with sentry duty at 5.

Dreading day with tough pt and brain dead comrades.

Inefficiency on the rise, as well as tension.

When will all this end? Nightmare which i can wake up from.

Haiz.

19 days more

2010-05-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

So today is the start ofmy 3 weeks stay in. Longestever stay in i think. I am pretty lucky i never get confine for bmt first 2 weeks and ocs first 3 weeks.

Exams are coming, i hope i cn do well.

I am still thinking which of the paths i want to go.

I still havent pass my soc. Still got 30 seconds to cut. Fail soc = no commission. It is that serious.

I am guilty for not being there, for you. :(

I hope by blogging it can mend the gap we are creating.

Pieces of thoughts that just couldnt link up, making this post very shattered.

Lights off.

What i owe you

2010-04-19T19:42:00.001+08:00

Well, i did tell you i will repay what i owe you, and this is one part of it.

I told you i found my reasons for loving you, but i couldnt say it in front of you as i had a hard time recalling.

I then found out, loving someone is without reasons, but liking someone has reasons.

So here are some of the reasons i like you:

I like the way you took care of me.
You always remember what i need to do and prevent me from doing double work.

I like the way you kept me company.
My life is pretty boring, and with you around, it added tons of colors in it. It doesnt limit when we are together. It started long time ago and i enjoy your company.

I like how you brighten up my day.
With just a little hug, little kiss, or a simple handshake makes me feel all better. You always say that you are in some sort of a dream and i might just disappear into thin air any moment. The only proof of my existence is when we hugged. Well, that should apply to me instead.

I like the strolls we took.
I love to talk. Senseless or not, you just kept listening. And those stories i told you makes my load lighter when they are told.

I like the way we stay connected.
Whereever we are, whenever we are, it just feels like we are just side by side. And i really appreicate it, as i am pretty lonely most of the time.

Most of all, i like the way you love me.
You love me endlessly and without reasons, providing me with needs that i dont even notice. Thank you :)

This is just a summary of all the little point i come up. And with each passing day, more points just popped up and i appreicate you even more.

Well, it's time for curtain call.

p.s i love you, sophie :)

2010-04-04T16:30:00.002+08:00

hello lonely blog. i am back. from brunei. to you.

i am too bored to think of anything to do but to update my lonely blog.

i am currently in brunei, and i dont know how much my bills are going to be.

going back in 3 days, and family leaving for malaysia in 2 days after i am back. nice.

i got posted to artillery if anyone still dont know about it.

hmm, what else can i say?

probably this,

i love you, girl.

Long long time ago

2010-01-10T19:22:00.002+08:00

howdy. xD it's been so long since i update my blog. i can see cobwebs everywhere.

the reason i neglect it was ... there isnt much time. though i did write things about my life everyday in my journal. but it is handwritten hence i am lazy to rewrite everything.

every book out, i spend ALOT. though you can say i only got 1 to 2 days to spend, each time can hit $100 ... then every month 400 ... and that equals my pay liao. lol.

i am still taking recruit pay sia. WHY! i am a cadet now leh. please increase my pay =(

lets see if i can update my blog when i am in camp. if my superiors dont mind, that is xD

i bought x mini! woot! blasting music through the night! but only can last 8 hours. need to find a wall charger for it. =(

i need a little more luck than a little bit ... 'cos everytime i start, the words wouldnt fit.

POP goes the weasel

2009-12-06T14:14:00.002+08:00

POP lor. i mean in 3 days, but still the same. Honeymoon period liao. 24km route march up next. might be the death for alot of us. just hope my legs make it through so that i can do my parade properly.

yesterday was ... kinda refreshing for me. i did something i never did before, and i am amazed i did it without feeling disgusted. i think army change my point of view greatly.

but the disappointing fact still remains the same.

same. same. same.

go emo liao. /wrist

Jump Here and There

2009-11-29T17:28:00.002+08:00

L4D2, rocks my socks.

haha, it was fun playing L4D2, with all the new shit like melee and quests. but some map is just too big. play 1 or 2 maps you will feel fucking sick of it.

long weekend comes to an end. and next is last week of BMT. am i going to treasure this 1 last week? i will try my best thats all i can say. i dont know why i just cant open myself up to my BMT mates.

next will be going to command school or unit. sigh. sigh. sigh.

*shake head*

*shrug shoulders*

*sigh*

companionship.

. . .

Empty

2009-11-22T16:43:00.002+08:00

3 more weeks to POP. am i suppose to be happy that it ends, or sad that it ends? should i be happy that i am going to post out to a harder unit, or sad because of it? i dont know what to think about recently, just following through the motion.

i heard from alot of people that after they got posted out, they rather get stuck in BMT. i can understand why. Man mode all the way, become a retarded and just act blur and you will live longer.

life is still a struggle for me. because i dont even know what my future is going to be. TIAN ARH! SOMEONE PLEASE GUIDE ME!

SITEST

2009-11-11T09:41:00.001+08:00

is done. burnt my weekend, but got 1 weekday out of it.

hope no RT this weekend since i skipped the last IPPT.

my thighs are still injured.

i need to see a chinese sehsei for a change.

IPPT 04 next week.

i must get at least a silver.

so everyone please pray that my thighs heals!

SIT Test

2009-11-01T16:18:00.002+08:00

field camp is over! well, that is not all. next up, SIT Test. mini field camp of 3 days. grrr ...

i got my thigh injured. i dont even know how i got it injured. with the injury, i cannot run properly. even climbing up and down the stairs is hard like mad. i want it to heal fast! i am lacking behind in training, i didnt even take IPPT3.

the week is another week that i got confine. not the bad way, it is because my SIT Test held on saturday sunday monday. thats why.

Andrew is going to field camp tomorrow. good luck dude, may the force be with you. and pray like fuck that it dont rain. xD

Field Camp

2009-10-18T10:52:00.003+08:00

tomorrow will be the start of my lowest point of my BMT life. yeah, you know it, it's field camp!

tahan tahan~ tahan tahan tahan~

as for today, it is going to be another jam pack sunday. going to chiong here and there around singapore before going back to the lovely island.

i just found out me being a soldier means i have lesser things to talk about. i wouldnt want to flood my blog with all my NS stuffs. the reason being ... whatever happens on the island, stays in the island. i will be charged if i disclose things that shouldnt be said.

cant wait to finish field camp. cant wait to finish field camp. cant wait to finish field camp. x100

Recruit Goh

2009-09-21T17:09:00.002+08:00

1 week has past like ... a snail. while my free time past like the wind. god damn it. 12 more weeks to go. and the coming one is a confinement week. 2 weeks of no social life. i hope my friends dont change that much, if not i cant keep up with their lifes.

i bought some books to read, just hope that i have time to actually read in camp. if not it would be a waste.

i also brought my brother's ipod, hope to get some entertainment in the midst of all the fucked up training.

life would be hard as honeymoon period is over. time for more punishment as people are just so insensible and immature and too full of themselves to even march with their elbows lock.

Good F-ing Game.

Hairless

2009-09-10T23:52:00.002+08:00

arh. the reason i didnt update is because i was too busy. catching with dudes and ladies who i will not be seeing in 2 weeks. not that they will miss me either.

alright 090909 marks the day i went bald. this is the first time i cut botak, i am sure that i look very weird.

2 weeks without internet, i might have withdrawal symptoms.

good bye old self, and welcome a new recruit in the house!

3 Days

2009-09-08T23:20:00.002+08:00

so ... today is more eventful than yesterday. early in the morning go makan dim sum. i tried alot of food today, though none of them seems tasty to me. i am more of a eat to live person.

after that played LAN then watched movie. tomorrow going to watch 2 more. trying to finish up all the movies before i go in.

i am going to cut botak. i wonder how i look like ...

3 days. road to manhood, here i come

4 Days

2009-09-07T23:59:00.001+08:00

wasted day. xD camp at home trying to finish my book, but i only reached page 500. i think i am reading too slow. =( also i am starting to get use to sleep 7 hours.

4 days left.

5 Days

2009-09-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

chyea. i shall string my whole day event in 1 sentence.

I, met up with alvin zhao and kenny for dessert at 928 before going to starbucks to chill again and saw sophie lyn and phil doing some photoshop shit and got me thinking why sophie looked so brittle and then i parted with them and went to plaza sing to meet my poly mates for a dinner as it is a gathering for my soon-to-be-NSmen status, but after finishing the dinner, we had nothing to do so we went to play some arcade before heading down to starbucks and played munchkin till 11 pm plus and i was nearly unable to take the last train home.

sounds broken. i bet if i submit this to O level english exam i would fail, again. I bet i fail my english during o level, but because of moderation, i got a C6. but still, i suck at articulating my thoughts.

alright ... peace.

6 Days

2009-09-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

at least today has something happening rather then the rest of my days. Happy birthday xuan xD just hope you would read the book i give you.

and it is very sad to see people who actually promised to be there for the party 1 month ago and phone just moments ago and say they cant make it. that is particularly one of the reason why i hate birthdays. insincere bastards.

i still need a watch for NS. -_-

7 Days and counting

2009-09-04T23:36:00.002+08:00

okay. lets start a countdown till i serve the nation with pride and honor.

today marks 7 days before my freedom crumble. today what i did was ... Starcraft, comic, flash games, mindless rotting blah blah blah

there are plans for FD3D, but in the end we didnt do anything.

tomorrow's plan ... tomorrow then update. if not tomorrow nothing to talk about.

i want to catch so many movies ... but i am in army.

i want to update my music as my favorite bands are having their albums out, when i am serving the nation.

i want to slack chill rot ... and there is no more time for that on the trip to manhood.

Gg-ified.

Life is short.

2009-08-31T00:48:00.002+08:00

i have been skipping updates lately. Bottomline now is, I am going to serve in 2 weeks and less.

been sleeping late lately. not good for health.

havent start running. i am so dead when i go in.

never been going to gym too. losing all my motivation.

played alot of L4D Pool Munchkin too.

people should check out what Kenny wrote in his blog. Good words from good man.

peace.

Happy Birthday To Me

2009-08-12T22:01:00.002+08:00

well, 1 day late, but i would still like to wish myself happy birthday. i am more happy this year than any of the year. reasons? easily, people dont need to waste money on getting me stuffs, they dont need to cramp my celebration into their heavily duty and tight timetable, they dont need to stone in the middle of nowhere to think of where to go next and in the end ended up at home. =D

i just dont like troublesome stuffs, and the more i hate to become a troublesome matter for someone. if without spending my birthday would make everyone happier, then so be it ~

well, i would like to thank my Sister for getting me a gift =) though it doesnt balance out ( you bought me a more expensive gift =/ ), i would try harder next year to give you something better and you really need or want them. xD

i would like to thank Denise too for trying to facebook my friends to chip in to get a camera for me. xD though it is unsuccessful, it is the effort that counts. but then, how dare you forget my birthday. =/ but then, girls who are in love dont really care about outsiders innit? i can understand *shake head*

i would like to thank Pelyn too for getting me a cake out of the blue even though i told her that i am there to accompany her to study for her paper. the cake has a weird layer over it but it was chocolaty enough to enjoy =) and i shouldnt have let you walked all over northpoint to try and get a cake for me =( bad for you and your baby =(

i would like to thank Yanwen for calling me an ungrateful bastard ( i self-proclaim, but i know you have the meaning to say that to me ) because she wished me happy birthday while i didnt. xD BUT BUT BUT, Xinglun and i did try and figure out a plan to get you a birthday present, but neither of us tried that plan xD

i would like to thank Sophie lastly for checking on me the day before birthday, the day of my birthday, as well as the day after my birthday. Sorry, i wouldnt be that silly to commit suicide because no one is there to celebrate with me. so you can relac one corner at your dorm. someday i will visit you ... to hit on your roommate that is =D

oh wait, i should thank guys too, cant have the ladies to have the limelight.

i would like to thank Andrew's effort in trying to get to my house on my birthday, though i reject him furiously xD

thank you Zhaoyi for phoning me when you are in the army. your background is too noisy that it hurt my ears.

thank you Kenny for sms me IN THE MORNING! 5 FREAKING AM! DID YOU KNOW YOU WOKE ME UP AND I CANT GO BACK BED? gee. but thanks alot, that was surely the earliest message i have ever receive =)

i would like to thank Adrian WeiJun and Kenneth for listening to me sing finish the whole album of JJLin's songs during your mahjong session. well it happen a day before my birthday, but still appreciate it.

...

kenny suggested to me some days ago to set up a countdown for my army. i have left with 29 days to my road to manhood. i am left with only 1 month! how cool is that. and i have 29 days left to play with my new toy. my pocket is going to get so big to walk around with =( i dont like the idea of pouches so i stuff everything in my pockets.

time to fade to the black

Reasons why i hate birthdays.

2009-08-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

i know some people love birthdays. the gifts, the place they celebrate, the people who they celebrate with. well, maybe my life sucks and it's hella boring. because ... there are so many bad points i can list down on why i hate birthdays.

.... ....

i spent 1 hour typing out why i hate birthdays. and i found out, i am just bitching about everyone. so i just delete away what i wrote and just a summary.

I hate birthdays. including my own. dont say i am a hypocrite. i can say it in your face too if you want: please dont celebrate my birthday.

because i just had the biggest disappointment i could have as a gift.

Never Back Down

2009-07-27T10:44:00.002+08:00

Mang. what happen to my body. starting to think that this body isnt mine anymore. it gets harder to heal and problems starts popping out like acne. maybe ... age is catching up already? I AM ONLY 19+!

well yesterday i went to the clinic. waited 2 hours for 3 minutes diagnosis. totally waste of time. what happen to me? my lips cracks and splits and bleeds like fissures on dry soils. and doc just gave me 2 types of pills and a cream for my lips.

i went to gym in the morning yesterday too. FINALLY my left hand is healed! 90% i would say. need to give it more time to be perfect. i can finally lift some weighs. but i dont know why, i puked in the midst of the workout. maybe my body happens to become too relax, and suddenly a full workout stressed out my body. i puked my breakfast ... in the toilet of course. i wouldnt want to make a scene in the middle of the gym. or maybe i had a heavy breakfast?

i spend 8 hours yesterday fixing zhao's iPhone too. Baseband corruption is a hard nut to crack.

and it seems that i am counting down and splitting my day in hours. why? because 1 more month i will be following the footsteps of recruit Lin and recruit Toh. getting close ... very very close ...

i need another trip oversea! anyone want to take me and stuff me in their luggage?

Ready Aim Misfire

2009-07-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

New Years Day - Ready Aim Misfire

listen to this song when you feel like Love is playing a prank on you. and i wish i could do those things that is mention in the song to those dumb cupids.

life's still usual ... usually bored. at least i went to ICA and rotted 45 minutes, went to eat some 'godlike' one ton mee, and chillball for a couple of hours near hiangpeng's house.

Hedley - Dear Blank

i think i am going to blog while giving out the songs i selected while i type. i dont know what i am saying, so if you think i am making sense ... probably you are as nut as me.

and the music i introduce is not bad worx. if you want them, just ask me via any medium.

and in this post i am going to confess some secrets. well, actually it isnt some dirty little secret that when i say them you will go, 'Wah? i didnt know that side of you', or 'really meh? this type of stuffs happen before?' it is just something i found out about myself lately.

3OH!3 - Still Around

the reason why i am sharing songs is because lately i didnt have the chance to snap photos to make my blog pretty. well, Music is the remedy for the heart while Picture is for the soul. why? Pictures speaks a thousand words and Eyes are the window to our souls. If you can think that way, you will find my first sentence to be true.

3OH!3's sentimental song. i find the beats and piano mix pretty well. that's why i am introducing. and yeah, i havent found my song of the month yet. hmmm ...

Breaking Benjamin - Rain

Recently it has been raining alot. has the hot summer gone? damn ... i love summer because it is when the boobies shows. i even got the shirt for my brother! talk about brother ... what gift should i give him this year? any ideas?

well, raining would mean cooler nights. but it also means lesser balling and stuff. but, more and more of my friends are going into army. lesser and lesser dudes to chill with. i can see myself rotting at home for most of the days when kenny go into army. one less player ... one less moment.

Valencia - I Cant See Myself

this is a bit rockish. so if you dont like rock bands and prefer softer music, dont listen to this.

Secret number 1: I love to bath in the dark.

sounds weird? well, same as the title of the song, i cant see myself in the dark. duh. that is the main reason. i dont want to see myself. ages ago, i tried to bath with my eyes close. recently i just didnt on the lights and bath.

Reasons about it i still havent figure out. probably i hate seeing myself? or as naked as i am, i find myself ugly deep down. when i am clothed, i can be somebody. but when i am naked, i am nothing. and it makes me wonder, what am i actually. i cant see myself in army. i cant see myself in the working industry. i cant see myself in the real world.

Hoobastank - The Letter

This song is sad. talking about a guy who is been two-timed. sounds like someone's stupid love story.

Secret number 2: My lips is being weird lately

my lips tend to dry up so fast that it starts cracking. not only it cracks, it starts to shed skin like a snake. and i cant open my mouth as large as last time because it hurts when it cracks. and my upper lips tends to be swell. my mom has been noticing it, i too, but i dont give a shit. probably i am down with some oral disease because it's been a long time since i visit the denist. it might be a problem for me in the future if i am going to kiss anyone. shit.

Sing It Loud - Best Beating Heart

well, this should be the last song i am going to introduce. i am running out of topics to talk. i really wish i could get my ass out of singapore and go to tioman. never been overseas with my buddies. it will be a fun trip, but then ... THERE IS SOME MANY PROBLEMS. just hope it is all done and heaven will let us have the chance of the lifetime before it robs us away all our last glimpe of hope.

~ she says i got the best beating heart in the world, and it makes her want to twirl until she hits the ground ~ ~ ... she? ... who? =(

damn. i am getting lonely. no, i must not feel this way. stay strong.

1 less ... 1 less ... 1 less ...

2009-06-29T14:17:00.002+08:00

1 less ... 1 less ... 1 less ... fill in the blanks yourself.

andrew's injured. get well soon. because i fucking want to go tioman. if because of your injury that we need to call off our trip, i am going to screw you.

today is day number 3 for me. for what? me being at home that is. my fucked up wrist isnt heal yet, hence i cant gym.

have you tried to empty your mind and clear your thoughts and think of nothing except staring in to the blank? i tried it under shower yesterday. but when i realise i am wasting water, i snap out of my trances.

most of my thoughts are being archived. there is alot i want to talk about. issues i want to debate on. thoughts i want to share. but ... Brain is a funny thing. when you want to think about something, you usually forget. when you dont want to think about it, it keeps coming back coming back coming back coming back coming back coming back coming back.

lately i am also too lazy to update.

well, something new, i bought munchikn. it is a type of card game. there is still 6 expansion to buy, as well as finding people who is interested in playing this game. most of my friends find it boring. i find the game kinda cute.

friends. friends. friends?

as time goes on, the distance between all of us become bigger. this is inevitable, yeah. friends come and go. no problem, i can take it. friends will know more friends and then forget about old friends. yeah, everyone knows that. "because they are way cooler", "because they have more life", "because they are funny", " ... ... "

what the fuck am i rambling on? i think i am just too lonely this few days by captivating myself at home. if i meant anything to someone, i will. if i dont, i dont. what for think so much. like whatever i say will change my place in any fucknuts' heart. i may not be the coolest guy out there, at least i am not the worst. that is what i think though.

like what kenny say, "Who needs friends when you have a lover?"

well ... bah ... another no go.

in the arms of a stranger

2009-06-17T14:54:00.002+08:00

well neglecting my blog seems to be my trend now. again, i have to blame my lazy bone for it.

nothing much happened lately. PC show, injured wrist and ankle, nearly fallen ill yesterday, parents left for malaysia today, means extra pocket money. blah blah blah.

life is just as mundane as ever. what made it worse is that ALL MY FRIENDS ISNT AROUND. lets make a list shall we?

in alphabetical order ... :

Andrew - Working in the freaking airport for 12 hours per day.

Irwin - Disappeared since months ago.

Keegen - Army. Army. Army.

Kenny Hiangpeng KC - in batam. dont know when coming back

Kenneth - Working as some retarded tour guide for male cheenaians.

Phil - Run away from home and never heard from him since. actually have, but no idea what he is thinking.

Xinglun - In the possession of minyi.

Zhaoyi - Army. Army. Army.

ARHHH!?!>!?!?!?!? !@^#(!*^(#*^@!(@*^#%^^&$!@(!@)

my usual bunch of gay pals just disappeared all at the same time. so i guess it is time ... it is time to chill with the ladies xD

alright ladies out there, i am available for booking. any takers?

YOU DONT KNOW MAN

2009-06-03T16:04:00.001+08:00

YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU DONT KNOW MAN! YOU DONT KNOW MANNNNNNNN!

shits happen.

and this is how i busted my leg.

damn.

Long awaited

2009-06-01T20:53:00.008+08:00

welcome to the long awaited post of the century. i dont know why i have only 22 pictures i wanted to show everyone. there should be more. i wonder if my iPhone ate them. but i dont think i will put all of them up.

lets back track. actually, i dont know which picture is taken at which day. even though they might be incorrect, they should be grouped and taken on that day itself. i dont know what i am talking about, lets just let the picture do the talking.

Sister's birthday was yesterday, and this is what i got for her

Specially thanks DENISE TAY for helping with the presents xD

i got her ... we, me and my brother got her a photo frame and guess shades. well, my brother did nothing except from sharing the present, but nonetheless, we still have to give him "some" credit right? *wink*

we went to eat xingwang yesterday too. we dont dine out together that often. and whoever wants to see pictures of my family, not group photo though, you guys can visit my sister's blog. anyway ...

first picture that i took with my sister since dont know when. oh yeah, picture of me and my brother also, which can be found in the photo frame is also the so called first picture taken with him. i am just not that usual family guy, but family still hold highest concern. from how i dealt with my sister's present can see how dedicate i am, right? xD dont you ladies out there wish you have a brother like me? *wink*

... ...

alright, lets travel a bit into the past. we had steamboat for ... qinghui's birthday. which is in april? shit, this should be in the museum already!

this picture cannot be found anywhere except from my iPhone! well as we can see from this picture i am trying to act cute while lieing on the ever comfortable shoulders of jolene~ as well as a extra cum bored andrew's face. epic.

next ... let me introduce the best bicycle in the world. 3 SITTERS!

this is an break through in an evolution of bicycle! with 3 seaters, you can cut down on your travel trips of picking and dropping people! but then, if this come out before cars ... ...

... ...

have you ever wonder ... that, when a banner brag how good their food is, but when it comes, it is an utter disappointment? this is what we feel when we ate at sembawang.

super small serving, super bad deal. some more we are craving for some good food after riding from khatib to sembawang

... ...

best car design goes to ...

well kudo to kenny and kenneth. i think they did this ... or not? hahaha! this is what happen if you leave your car out in the open at night at the yishun dam and go cook satays. xD

... ...

durian session some time back. well i never love durian. i mean i dont eat the fruit, but i do eat the ice cream or the cakes. dont ask me why. this is what i am unique, or weird which most people might say.

... ...

and did you know ... my brother is ... rich?

well, at least it is a good start to fund my expenditure, isnt it? xD

... ...

well, H1N1 is spreading in singapore. dont know how well it will be contain. but i am lucky that i am not working at changi! work time is tedious, though the pay is attractive. this made some of my friends working like dogs.

this is a group photo we took. i mean i took, for them. dont they look ... cool?

just some random photos.

let me tell you this. we being at the front line are very very dangerous. so please appreciate what we are doing. why? because ...

if just 1 person who got the virus, our life would be at stake! not even the mask can save us. but this is just one rare occasion that i happened to be around.

and this is what happen if you got fever.

thanks for the example, ms leow. and i really think you are having a fever. but that is 1 month ago ... *roll eyes*

and this is the night stalkers for that night.

...

and this conclude what my photos would say. and there are so many things i want to talk about, but i believe i wouldnt have the time to list down what i have did the past few weeks. graduations, swimmings, basketballs, chilling out blah blah blah

i still have ... 3 more months. ... 3 more months ...

Venture into the terror grove

2009-05-23T09:58:00.000+08:00

ah. i need to do an update fast.

check out this space soon. i will do a major update on this mundane life of mine.

right after i survive this ubin trip in ... 30 minutes time.

zoom

We're starting the party from dusk

2009-05-11T11:33:00.002+08:00

Eminem, best rapper, period.

xD being random. i just got his latest album, just started listening to it. will be finding my song of the month. i heard he is release 2 album this year. anticipating.

i am typing weird. is it because of my light headed feeling i felt because i slept at 5 am and woke up early? probably.

well, lately i didnt have the heart to update. a bit neglected on my dear diary. there are stuffs to talk about, just that i am just ... too lazy.

lets talk about a few days ago, which is where i left off.

A few days ago, me and my homies went to ubin. it was ... hella bored. i mean the starting part. the cycling is ... hard. too many up slopes. and crowded. but the down slope is the sex. would be better without those cowards who are so scare of the speed.

pictures are uploaded in facebook, check out those killer forest pictures. that is the fun part of ubin trip. we went to the 'not so for beginners' jungle trail. embracing the nature to the max. except that we didnt expect the mud to be wet and we got our bikes and legs stuck in the mud. well, getting a little dirty and getting fuss about it is just being a puss. we are SOLDIERS!

the view inside is very beautiful, sadly, not everyone went with us. minyi and xinglun and sophie didnt follow. well, uh ... yeah ... you guys can guess why.

the joke of the day, which result in some tears, is that, before and during the trips, we keep talking about wild boars and how dangerous they are and how when we saw 1 is going to catch one. when we went to the jungle trail, the 3 weak-a-teers got left behind. and xinglun and minyi left sophie alone and left for toilet. i bet sophie didnt want to go because she wants to stay there just to make sure when we come out, we dont have someone to guide us out or just want to see us being safe. a while later she got scared and called us. we were in the middle of some cam whoring with the nature when my phone rang. instantly, my joker spirit got kicked in. i picked up the call and started to pant damn hard.

*pant* *pant* we kana chase by boar! *pant* pant* *pant* call you later when we are safe. *pant*

then i just end the call. we just continued cam whoring and continue with the rest of the trail. little did we know that sophie got freaked out by that call. she keeps on ask people who came from the road that we went about our whereabout. she started to break down and cry out loud, fearing our safety. she cannot leave to find us also, even she wanted to do it, because she might get lost inside, being a weak cycler. and xinglun and minyi is nowhere to be found too. what if when they come back and saw no one?

when we got back, kenneth was the first to reach her. i bet he got freaked out when he saw sophie crying. totally my bad, i am sorry about it. i am sorry to make sophie cry, but ... but ... i have to say this mannnnnnnn. YOU JUST GOT PUNK'D! xD

but dont have to worry mannnnh, we are soldiers! and we are blessed with good life xD accidents do happen, but never that often on me.

talking about accident ... yesterday was mother's day. a not so good mother's day for a family though.

i was invited by phil to attend his mother's day celebration. to attend is an understatement. being a free and hard labour is the real meaning. i carry, i cook, i eat. lucky i dont need to pay a single cent.

things were going smoothly until ... Praiselyn got on her ride and she was having fun. it was when she try to cut a corner behind the bbq pit, accident happened. behind the bbq pit, there is a ledge with steps. i think she did a misstep and flew down the ledge and hit her forehead on the stone cold edge of the steps. alot people were the witnesses, including me. because i am one of the nearest person to Praiselyn, well i am setting the fire.

what a present for phil's mom. she was so shaken when she saw Praiselyn faceplanted. at first, i thought, 'damn, move or cry or something.' i am fearing the worst because she is still younger and under developed. not malnutrition or stuff, it just means she is still young. everyone around froze as no one expected stuffs like this happen. only when Praiselyn cried out of pain and anguish made all of us snap out of our trances. her mom was the first to reach her. when she lifted her up, blood was oozing out of her cut at her left forehead. Pelyn screamed when she saw the bloody sight. that scream alerted more fellows campers. and that scream actually summoned some first aid trained people. within minutes, they stop the bleeding on Praiselyn's head and seal it up with handy plus. Phil was called back from another carpark and was instructed to drive her sister to hospital.

Drama drama. we didnt even started on anything and we were forced to come up with a decision: To leave or not To leave, that is the question. in the end, i started the fire along with Pelyn's boyfriend, Keith. and i cooked all the chicken wings. not well done xD but who give a shit, no one ate them anywhere. everyone is still shaken from that accident.

in the end, phil came back to send most of them back, but someone has to be there to take care of all the crap. i was the one who dont have anything on the next day. so me and phil try to summon whoever was available to accompany me to rot and embrace through the dark night. well, i am not going to name names and start flaming war, but i am very grateful for Kenny to come all the way to accompany me. Sophie say i am a person who everyone can depends on, and this person also need someone who can depends on too. and i am thankful for his act.

the rest of the night is just chilling rotting and then went for LAN action. survival mode is deadly, the longest we last is 4 minute plus. and went home at 4 am plus.

i still have ... 4 more months ... =) and =(

Working, again

2009-05-06T07:23:00.001+08:00

Stuck in changi again. 12 hours shift is pretty much a killer. Saw my
3 friends getting mentally unstable due to the work. Bored to death or
tired to death?

What will happen today? Just hope everything goes well and time goes
fast.

Sent from my iPhone

5.08 am still slacking

2009-04-30T05:11:00.001+08:00

Nearly fall asleep on the couch. Whole team sitting at slacking corner
talking cock. As well as earning money. Freaking good life!

But as well as wasting life. It seems I am repeating the post as I go
along. This is how bored we are.

Sent from my iPhone

2.30 am slacking on a couch

2009-04-30T02:33:00.000+08:00

Turning into a couch potato soon. So damn boring and restless. I guess
it is either too slack or I too keng. Earning free money just by
having my presence. I have some photos to upload too. Just that I
didn't try using the iPhone. Might try some other day to see if it
turns out good.

Had burger king as dinner, which is at 1.30 am. Does that still
counted as dinner? I need some entertainment, if not I will drift off
to sleep soon.

Sent from my iPhone

7.09 pm

2009-04-29T19:11:00.001+08:00

First night shift! Woot. It is going to be a blast as I am grouped
with kenny Kenneth wanjun Zhao. Hope it is going to be fun! Update
later, save battery

Sent from my iPhone

11 pm at home

2009-04-28T23:03:00.001+08:00

Kick siol. I feel so tired now. Tomorrow will be my first night shift
ever for any work I did. Just hope it will be fun, as well as meeting
new and fun people! Time to rest, still have gym tomorrow in the
morning. Turning into iron man soon.

Sent from my iPhone

12.25 pm Terminal 1 west arrival hall

2009-04-28T12:27:00.001+08:00

Phew, I have left with 8 hours of work. I am pretty darn bored and I
need to charge my phone. Been wasting alot of battery using wifi.
Getting sleepy with each minute passing by.

Nothing amazing in particular now. Probably something will happen,
like catching someone with fever.

Sent from my iPhone

6.30 am Police Pass Office

2009-04-28T06:35:00.001+08:00

Damn. I love being up early. The air is fresh and there is absolutely
no one around when you walk the streets.

I am now at the airport and just collected my pass to enter restricted
areas. And last of all, I'm hungry.

Sent from my iPhone

Forgot about the title

2009-04-27T22:25:00.000+08:00

Yeah, as the title shows. Doing this would let my blog have a full
update from my work. Somehow this is a large scale twitter. But then,
who cares.

Sent from my iPhone

2009-04-27T22:23:00.001+08:00

Testing this stupid feature to see if it actually work.

Sent from my iPhone

Putting my life on the line

2009-04-27T22:05:00.002+08:00

tomorrow, i am going to work in changi. as? as a medical escort i think. i mean, the name i just made it up, but it is something to do with medical stuff.

as we all know the pig flu is spreading, and singapore is taking it's precaution to ensure the safety of singaporean. and i, am putting my life on the front line of this illness.

i will be there to check the tourists and foreigners' temperature. but still not very sure about the job scope, it might be wider.

and what make me feel draggy? i have to wake up at 5 am because reporting time is 6.30 am for the first day. damn it mannn ... it is even earlier for all my school years. got to live my life as a soldier now.

Nothing is left to ponder

2009-04-22T21:47:00.002+08:00

-_- life. what a mess.

做朋友做到这样，不做也罢。

after so long, and i came back un-enlightened, un-fulfilling and unsatisfy-ed. there is nothing much happen in my life. and probably more fucked up than before.

i need some life changing moments man ... if not i would probably rot and return back to Earth and no one will notice.

maybe NS will do.

does having a car really make you easier to get a girlfriend? so what if, the girl fell for the convenience rather than you? i should test it out, find the girl of my dream, then learn how to drive. but chances are slim ... really slim ...

Hit me when i'm gone

2009-04-03T10:53:00.001+08:00

Chalet was a blast!

but i aint got any pictures to back it up. damn.

There for tomorrow

2009-03-29T00:34:00.003+08:00

remember when~~~ i fell in love to this song after hearing it. maybe it just describe my feeling for the month. xD

well, it's been along time since i blogged about my mundane life. been really really lazy to blog. well, the happening days are probably only miss leow's birthday. other than that, maybe some L4D days and chilled out one. nothing really significant. well, nothing goes right without some pictures right?

but they are just boring ones ...

this are the crew that i travelled down with to east coast and walked about 4 km to reach out destination. 4 km ... 4 km ... 4 km ... walk ... walk ... walk ... as for the prized picture that day ...

epic face. epic expression. priceless.

on that day, i wasnt able to make it for my volunteery annual dinner. and i heard i gotta a cert. i have to apologize to them for not being able to make it. and then ... they send me ... my cert ...

Epic Mistake Number 1: Spot the mistake.

Epic Mistake Number 2: Spot the mistake ... again.

for those 'spot the mistake' lovers, come fro and use your skill. but there is no prize to the winner.

This is the story of my life, this are the lies that i created.

2009-03-16T10:31:00.003+08:00

finally it comes to an end of my IT fair work. in 4 days, i only manage to sell 10 laptops. not bad for a 菜鸟 xD my legs are still hurting, but it doesnt matter. so now i am back to the rotting pot state equip with xbox 360 and a laptop with infinite hours to deal with my boredom.

some pictures for treats

Felicia and Yanwen

One of our breakfast (sound a bit wrong)

Weird ice cream treats

Tattoo in the making

Why they choose my hands?

it was a fun experiences and i am glad i made a few new friends. and thanks to the dudes as well as the ladies we visited me during that time. and thank god you guys didnt let me receive any scolding from the boss for slacking.

didnt manage to blog about everyday now. getting lazier and lazier by the seconds.

this is taken on the day of zhao's birthday. at least i am making a good use of phil's xbox.

this ... this ... woman make me walk around town and then settle with a 25 dollar tie. what the heck. waste of effort.

last but not least. IT'S TIME TO PARTY!

party hats for everyone!

The more i look at you ...

2009-03-11T17:43:00.002+08:00

the more ugly i feel you are. i dont know why. must be my mind. must be my mind.

xD never mind that. someone tell me to update about what i am doing. now i am, at kenneth's house, doing an update. i am waiting for the rest of 'legs' to come for a mahjong session.

i have lots of photos to upload, just that too lazy to plug my iphone and upload each and every one of them into photobucket. xD

i am going to work at IT show tomorrow until Sunday. so be on the look out for me.

i have a class gathering on Sunday TOO! what the heck. why does my events have to cramp all together at one go. it is always like this. it is either i have nothing to do at all or i have to do everything at 1 go.

just hope that honghan change the date so i can meet up with those long lost friends. if not, i would have to try and ask for a half day leave so i can meet them up. why so much hassle? probably i want to see how's everyone life after secondary school. and see how much they shine after they graduate, unlike me, still rotting in my hellhound.

the more i type the more hungry i am. just hope my hunger dont affect my mahjong-ing session.

and congratz on kenny being able to walk! well ever since he is injure, our chilling time has been cut down. Andrew, Phil, Keegen are all oversea. 1 gone for a week or so, 1 gone for a month, another for 2? and now with kenny injured, lesser and lesser of my guys friends are around to chill! lucky i have 'gossip girl' to watch, as well as some retarded movie i have been downloading for the past few days.

let see if i have the feel to upload some pictures tonight, after a prata session to be.

Day 7

2009-02-27T23:57:00.003+08:00

well yesterday is a long and busy day. it completely drained me. and i have tonnes of pictures which i dont know i want to upload or not. maybe when i have the feeling or when i go back to singapore.

left a few days of relaxing spirit in malayisa. will be going back on monday morning if i am not wrong. just hope my mom dont change the dates anymore. not that i dont want to stay, just that all my cousins are going back to school and i will be left alone with no one to talk to. i dont think i want to share my ideaology with the older generations, they will think i am shitting them. generation gap generation gap.

today i learnt a new type of mahjong. but only specific tiles can play. i dont know where i can get those in singapore, if not i would teach everyone to play.

caught this on iPhone. but you must be there to withness it, then you know how i feel when i stood on the rocks. and i didnt know my aunt house was so close to the sea.

and i shall introduce you guys my chill out kahkis

i would miss them when i go back to singapore. and i dont know when i will be back to see them. i am lucky they dont change as much. what i fear is when i come back next time, we wouldnt be chilling together anymore. all getting on with their lifes and stuff like that. maybe i am just scare of changes, or maybe i am just scare i am the only one not changing.

and one last thing, all of them scare how i ride the motorcycle. no one dare to let me pillion them the second time. and i think i rode a 50km/h, i think. the speed meter spoil, i cant gauge my speed well. but i know i ride recklessly and went pass alot of other user on road. my cousins label me as road hazard. xD

Day 4 5 6

2009-02-26T09:17:00.002+08:00

-_- internet is crawling, and hence the update is slow. as well as nothing much happen in days. except yesterday motor incident. xD

i will talk about it when i come back from 拜拜. will take 1 day man... what the heck.

well another picture got uploaded. thank god..

time to take some pictures, about chinese culture. The Temple. wooo. -stabmyselfwithboredom

Day 3

2009-02-23T15:38:00.002+08:00

yesterday was freaking long. i feel like having 2 days cramp into 1. pictures still cannot be uploaded. stupid photobucket takes ages.

so lets talk about what i did yesterday. First, when i first woke up by my cousin, she told me to get ready fast so that we can go shopping. when i did, she received a call that my older cousin's car got smashed. i was like WTF? i asked what's going on, and she told me that, some cut grass dude spin his weapon and caused a stone to fly and smashed the back of the car's glass.

and shoot, i forgot to snap a picture of it. never crossed my mind until now.

we still went in the end, with the broken glass. the ladies did some shopping while me and my male cousin did some rounding and scouting. the chicks there were not as impressive, but my cousin say this is by far the best place chicks would gather.

we ate some bar-b-q plaze shit. make my clothings stink from the smoke. and then i treat them all ice-creams. xD my cousin said, 'Go singapore also you treat, come malaysia also you treat. you making me malu sia.' xD it is just in my blood to do that.

watch the smlj kungfu chef movie. Highly NOT recommended. it was boring and the plot and story goes too fast.

overall it is alright for the trip, because it has been ages i went out with my cousins from outside singapore. wait, i dont even care a shit about cousins from inside singapore. pfft. i could say i am closer to this bunch than those in Singapore. i dont know why myself, inherit more of my mom's genes i guess.

and i did alot of illegal riding in malaysia! Without helmet plus extra pillon! it is very dangerous, so please dont try this at home.

i thought of something about inheritance a few days ago. i think i need to recollect my thoughts. and i hear kenny got his left side of his body damaged. hope he get well soon. tonight he still need to go A&E? = o

today is Day 4, which is some sort of a lazy day. we shall see we shall see.

Day 1 & 2 in Malaysia

2009-02-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

damn the internet here. it is so slow. and photobucket is causing problems for me. i cant seems to upload my cute cousin and nieces pictures. doesnt matter, i will try my best to upload all.

today is my mother's side grandfather's birthday bash. and my FATHER IS TRYING TO MAKE ME DRUNK! what the heck. he keep forcing me to drink with my uncles and ah gong. but lucky i escape. i suppose they are karaoke-ing and drinking at the same time. and my phone gotten taken over by my cousin to cam whore. =/

sneak preview of my 1 cousin and nieces.

shit, i am still feeling high over all those alcohol.

Time flies, while i stood immobilize

2009-02-17T11:20:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Denise xD

and lastly, i hurt my lips so bad i couldnt really talk much. when i open my mouth is hurt like craps. so now i cant really eat much without feeling the pain.

dont know what to talk about. very very messed up. some pictures for entertainment would do.

that is keegen for you.

this is kenny for you.

My sister made it for me, but i dont see it on my table anymore. hmm

恶心三连拍！

第一拍！

第二拍！

第三拍！

time to study for my last paper. life is such a drag.

Remember Those Days

2009-02-09T20:58:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: What you shall see next is all made up, and none of them is true. I am just making it to de-stress. My failure in making myself understand that it is important to study for exams has causing me problems. It also bring my stress level till the next level. Actually i dont feel stress, my body tells me otherwise. It aint healing like it used to, hair drop more often, pimples outbreak, all of them are signs of being stressed. I just need something to take my mind off the hectic yet mundane life of mine.

Typing sound could be heard across the room as the moon slowly crawlled from the edge of the horizon. It is just another night sitting by the desk and doing nothing in particular in life. With life of student coming to an end, I couldnt think of anything in my life that worked well. Staring in front of me, i started to look back in those days ...

"Push harder."
"I'm trying!"
"Push. Push! Weeee!"

"You're pretty heavy you know?" I panted as i try to give her the one last push. I dont know why every girls i know love the swing so much. And this special girl loves it more than she actually love me. But at least, in her heart, i know i am somewhere there.

Giving me the sweetest smile she could, i wiped off the sweat she had built up over the excitement. I couldnt care about myself, as what i see in front of me, is my world.

"Ting Ting ~ "

I snapped out of my daze the moment MSN alerted me. It was just a link to some website that a friend wanted to introduce me long ago. And fate must be toying with me as i spotted one picture ...

Why must heaven let me remember the pain i once had. Those faithful memories of mine, those hurtful memories of mine, those ... ... Why must i remember the days that haunted me for so long.

Tears were fighting out of my eyes and suddenly, a light tap on my window shocked me.

... ... ...

and so life is pretty messed up. and i am pretty lost about my life. dont know what to do. dont know what can i do. i need a get-a-away trip. and i know i soon going to have one. ...

Life is busy, or am i taking it too slowly

2009-01-29T20:37:00.002+08:00

there seems to be endless things to do lately. life on a train i think. that is why i cant properly do an update. even though tomorrow i will have a Law quiz with an weightage of 20% as well as napfa, on next monday date due for disaster recovery assignment, on next tuesday a concert, next wednesday a final written test of Law with an weightage of 30%, next thursday disaster recovery presentation, next friday due date for my perl assignement, next next monday comf exam, next next wednesday scripting test, and next next next wednesday DRBP exam, i manage to squeeze some time to do an update. cant leave you peeps hanging in the mid air right? *wink* (kinda gay, but i think i am turning into one real soon if i dont a girlfriend fast.)

so much for my happy ending. last few weeks of my school life is cramped. and i have been thinking the wrong things lately. and playing too much L4D too. cine becomes my third home.

chinese new year is a blast, even though coming saturday there is another visiting. just hope there is another set of alcohol for all of us. maybe it is finally my turn to be drunk. who volunteer to take care of me? xD but shit, i still have to compile the assignment to be handed up on monday. hmmm, then we shall see.

i have pictures from like ages ago that i want to upload, just didnt have the time.

this is the kbox at mobley. IT sucks. IT REALLY do. dont bother going there again unless you have at least 6 friends who willing to gay around with you in a freaking big room.

been drinking weight gainer when i go to gym on a frequent basis. BUT IT IS NOT ENOUGH. why? because i am not adding weight. either it is my meals problem, or i didnt go gym enough, or my metabolism rate is monstrous. when can i bulk up damn it. i am sick of the skinny me. maybe this will be my new year resolution. i never had one since ages. TO BECOME 60 to 65 KG.

and damn. after my school, i need to chiong my motor. if not it is going to expire! maybe the need for speed can stop me from thinking stuffs that i dont want to think of.

damn it. firefox crash before i could finish off.

presenting, kenny da muscle man! like i said, this is suppose to be a month back picture. or even longer. i forgot when i took it. and ladies who are looking for a guy to protect you from rain and shine, gangsters and hooligan, he is the guy for you.

& you never know how hard it hits me.

Female nowadays

2009-01-17T15:01:00.002+08:00

they piss me off so very often. =/ what i really hate the most is when i am trying to get to know their friends and they reply, "eh? she is attached." WHAT THE FUCK? does that means all attached female cannot have friends? does that means that i can only know female that are single? does that means that singles can only mix with singles? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THEORY? IT IS LIKE AN INSTANT REPLY WHEN I TRY TO KNOW SOMEONE. then i am going to make some super handsome guy friends. and if they ask me about them, i am going give them the same answer, "eh? he is attached." even when he is not. =/

it doesnt matter once or twice. it HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! 100% of the female give me the same answer when i ask whether i can know that friend of theirs. DO ALL OF YOUR MINDS ARE HARDCODED THAT I WANTING TO KNOW THEM MEANS MAKING THEM MY GIRLFRIEND? WHAT THE FUCK x2.

Friends are like money, no one can get enough of it. it is getting out of hand with this situation. female are getting more and more unreasonable. phil showed me a video of a lady who try to get her boyfriend to buy her a car. when the boyfriend reject, she went berserk. she drove the car inside of thhe shop to make the boyfriend cannot reject on buying. WHAT THE FUCK x3. stop abusing the power that you ladies have.

make me think of women's charter and alot of stuffs. i remember last time there is a debate about female being the most hypocritic on earth. something like they ask for equality, but still want guys to be gentlemen and stuff like that. earn more and faster than us, and still expect us to foot the bills. equality = everyone the same. THEN WHY AINT THEY IN NS? if you tell me they are physically declined, then dont talk to me about equality. WE WERE MADE INTO SLAVES! BROUGHT UP AS ONE AND TRAINED AS ONE. WHAT THE FUCK x4.

i know there are ladies who dont act like what i stated above. but believe me, more and more ladies are turning like that. and that is a fact everyone agrees upon.

whatever i complain now wouldnt change anything, most probably when i woke up from my sleep tomorrow i would forget everything today. and in the end i would treat ladies around me as well as last time. like i said, it is in our blood to be slaves =(

I like subliminal messages

2009-01-12T19:21:00.002+08:00

writing in codes are cool. i mean those people who invent them are pretty smart, like playfair cipher and stuffs. i like to write in codes too. but most of the time i dont really want to review the answers. i know alot of people around the world also like to write codes in their post when they want to hide something but dont want anyone to know what is hidden. just trying to be mysterious for a bit.

prediction for this week: i will be busy with my FYP and assignments.
prediction for next week: i will be busy with my FYP and assignments.
prediction for next next week: study for exams.

fuck man ... busy. i dont have time to breathe! well, lets just hope nothing will happen to break my iron will!

talking about iron, time to pump some iron myself. i must bulk up before NS! i hate the state i am now. actually, i hate myself.

Fail

2009-01-05T17:12:00.002+08:00

Timbre was good. i love the atmosphere and the songs they play. makes me want to sing out loud. a good place to chill.

yesterday my mom and my brother is cleaning up my room. and i found things dated back to 2007. like movies tickets and receipts. most of the receipts is already turned yellow and hardly readable. but for the movie tickets, it is otherwise. and i can tell you, GV tickets last the longest. all of them are still readable and the ink stays. i dont know why. shaw ranked the last, as it is just a thin strip of paper.

my computer is lagging as i write this post. what is happening?

i found toys that i played last time, and some memories of peoples. i threw away most of them as the matter of fact. not that i dont want to keep as memories. it is just that memories are kept in my mind most of the time. there is no reason to keep the solid stuff around. collect dust only. i know i will regret that decision i made of throw them away when i reach 50 or 60, but, lets just keep it that way for the time being.

what i found ...

some toys i played when i was younger. and that yellow car is pass down from my grandfather. it is even older than me and my father!

this coins are from genting. those arcade coins. i dont know if i can still use them or not.

this are malaysia 1 dollar coin. i heard from my mom that it is no longer in use in malaysia. most of the folks only wanted the 1 dollar notes. could be antique after a few years. xD

i simply just love hiang peng's cool dumbfuck face. xD

15 minutes more

2009-01-01T23:41:00.002+08:00

before the start of the second day of the year, i should wish everyone happy new year? let me get this done in 15 minutes.

new year eve is a boom.

new year day is a drag, though i watched the most emo show ever. but then, it is just start of the year, i can see more emo show coming up. try and beat that.

tomorrow i am going to ITE.

yeah, finished.

as for the pictures for new year eve, just go to facebook and check them out. i bet i would be tagged in a few days time. i aint going to hog all the resources of blogspot to show whack i am.

time to rest. need to straighten myself. maybe tomorrow i will talk about my new year resolution? if i can remember that is.

My Days are numbered

2008-12-29T18:25:00.002+08:00

2 major things to do. actually there is alot more. just that i think this 2 are more important. one is FYP one is C programming. time is short. really short. but i still dont feel the need to do. what is wrong with me?

2 days ago, was out with the boys to have the last day of celebration before school reopen. we dropped by a place that kenny mistaken is 'zhen ji'. but the food was alright. after that we went for an ice cream treat at icekimo.

after that we went for a light drink at liquid kitchen. note to self: Never mix Honey water with liquor. it sucks to the core.

and we proceed to the only game we can play ...

yesterday, i went to sophie's house for some mini gathering, along with kenneth and the ladies.

missing sophie and qing hui though, but whatever. they played wii there. and made some retarded videos out of it. i didnt manage to get those video. if not i will put them on youtube and make them FAMOUS! xD after that we went for a movie 'Bedtime Story'. wasnt that bad, though some of them have bad critics of it.

school, sucks. period.

What i learn from my friend's nick

2008-12-27T15:41:00.000+08:00

爱，不是牺牲，也不是占有... 爱，其实是成全... 拥有爱情的时候，要让对方自由... 失去爱情的时候，更要让爱自由...

fucking 'K' on my keyboard, keep jamming.

so what do you guys think about the phrase?

i should stop counting

2008-12-27T11:51:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish i failed my math. so that i dont need to count.

this is how i carried all the freaking stuffs back. my bag is filled with craps and unfinished Martel. and i have to carry the icebox and the mat home. and i am foolish enough to BMX there. my chest got bruised because of the icebox. bitch.

this is a shot when i am all alone at 5 plus at the shelter. went there early because i am a singaporean: Kiasu. my bag is so freaking big! because of the fried rice my mom prepared as well as 1 book some utensils psp and some rags.

Now, for the premiere of ... 'Keegen, The Gay.'

he started to touch guy's hands and the reason was to crack the thumb. crack as in when you bend your fingers and the 'tia' sound comes out. he is doing to the guys at the thumb area, which is the hardest. i manage to snap this few photos, along me being the victim. but anyway, he is turning gay.

and then this is some pictures of me wearing Threadless.

my new t just arrived yesterday. 1 red 1 purple 1 cream color. feeling cam-whoreish and gayish yesterday. but then i only have iPhone. i need a better camera. time to save.

Random.

Christmas and tweety. any links?

guess what time i took this. xD it is so freaking empty. just like my heart.

some times, do you feel like just numbing yourself with senseless things so you can stop thinking about stuff you dont wish to think? i guess everyone has this kind of feeling once in a while. is it useful? all i can say, if you dont face the reality, you are just deceiving yourself. give yourself a slap and wake up. no body is going to wait for you and help you, not even time. only you can pull yourself together and move on.

it is hard to be a optimist as well as a pessimist. 2 front war. reminds me of my tattoo. talking about tattoo, i want to do another one. but it will result in making my mom sad, and probably disown me. so i dont think i want to take that chances. but, when i hit the age where my mom thinks that i can take care of myself and i can do whatever to my body, i am going to do another one. of course, there is new reason and meaning behind all these. some deeper meanings that only when i look at it, i know.

lets see who will be the first to know the hidden meanings.

6 teens at the age of 17

2008-12-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

what do most teens do when they are at 17? gaming? schooling? making their first millions? as for me, i am probably doing nothing useful. 2 years back what am i doing? ... oh yeah, spending every evening with my ex girlfriend. picking her up after school and sending her home. she is the reason why i didnt have CCA in poly. and thats may be the reason why i didnt have large social cycle in poly life. but wait, i didnt have any large social cycle IN my whole entire life. =/

cut the emo crap. i need to stop thinking about stuffs and quit stoning. thats the reason why i got books to read and psp to play.

my brother is watching a taiwan idol drama now and this kissing scene is giving me some questions to ponder. sometimes in a drama, you can see a guy force kissing the lady. and after a few struggles, the lady become submissive. and they started kissing like they were in love like before. can that happen in real life? i always think if a guy wanted to kiss a lady and if the lady didnt want in the first place, it can never happened. but drama always show the sweet side of life. bullshit.

yesterday was a crazy night. i camped at a same shelter for 12 hours. what i did there you may ask. eat drink chill feel the rain the breeze the laugther clean up taking care of almost everything blah blah blah i got a card holder from the present exchange. and keegen got my present, but he freaking lost it as he is dead drunk on his way home and forget where his present is. kenneth, being the most unlucky one, got condoms xD

i would post some pictures when i got them. i have 1 special one to show. it is about how i got home carrying stuffs with a BMX. practically insane i must say. most pictures will be on facebook or friends' blog. i just remember not linking anyone in my blog. someday i will post them up.

and thanks for the nights guys, you guys are the best.

11 12 13 14 15 ... cant help but wait.

2008-12-23T01:06:00.002+08:00

cant help but wait~~ some old song that i like. it talks about a guy who fell for a girl who is in distress. and he cant do anything but wait for the girl to realise that what she needs can never be found on her current guy. maybe it speaks about alot of guys out there, maybe it is just a song that i like.

i am starting to hate Christmas. reasons? unknown.

but i still would want to pray that on the eve there is no rain. just hope none of my friends will get upset.

and i cant help but wait.

I can't help but wait
Ohh uh
Can't help but wait

I see you, you with him
He ain’t right but you don’t trip
You stand by while he lies
then turn right round and forgive

I can’t take to see your face
With those tears runnin down your cheeks
But what can I do
I gotta stay true
Because deep down I’m still a G
And I don’t want to come between you and your man
Even though I know I treat you better than he can

Girl I can’t help but wait
Till you get back with him it don’t change
Can’t help but wait
Till you see that with me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Till you see you for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

It aint fresh to just let him call the shots
You’re a queen you should be
Gettin all that someone’s got
You should be rockin the latest with purses
bracelets and watches you’re worth
Much more than that occasional I love you
I’m thinking of you and I don’t wanna come
between you and your man no
Even though I know I treat you better than he can

Girl I can’t help but wait
Till you get back with him it don’t change

Can’t help but wait
Till you see that with me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Till you see you for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

Get it together
You can do better
See is believin
And I see what you need so
I’m going to play my position
Let you catch what you’ve been missing
I’m calling out

Girl cuz I can’t help but wait
Till you get back with him it don’t change
Can’t help but wait
Till you see that with me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Till you see you for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

Till you get back with him
It don’t change
Can’t help but wait
Till you see that with me it ain’t the same
Can’t help but wait
Till you see you for what you really are
Baby girl you are a star
And I can’t help but wait

Can’t help but wait babe nonono
I can’t help but wait
Ohohoh
Can’t help wait

No oh no oh no oh

i went to st james a few days back. was cool. better than MOS which is flooded with ... people. i am not going to start flaming. i just want ... .. .. ....

what can i do in the meantime? ....... .. ... . .....

. .... ..., ... ..'. .... ... ......

10 things i can do when i am bored

2008-12-17T16:46:00.003+08:00

Eat
Read Comic
Ston-ing
Play PSP
Watch Movies
Watch TV-series
Play Basketball
Blog Popping
Facebook-ing
Chill out

anyway ... mundane life doesnt have any spice. who want to be my chilli pepper salt and sugar? xD as i am doing one of the things about that i listed, i come across this from Denise. this is the first time i do this stuffs. i am just toooooo bored.

Got stabbed by: Denise
The rules:
Bold the statements that are true to you
Italise the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the Fibs alone
Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test. (Andrew Kenny Minyi Phil QingHui Samantha Sophie Zhaoyi) - well i stabbed those people whose blog i read xD stabbing just 5 isnt fair xD

I miss somebody right now.
I dont watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes. - all the time actually.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi, but not the weird ones, like octopus and eel.
I talk really, really fast. - depends on whether they make sense or not.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have long hair. - my hair now is unaccepted!
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. But I'm totally fine if life has surprises.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent. - I think i have... I hope i have...
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. - but if i have Sprite, i will go even crazier.
I have a lot of friends. - If you deem hi-bye as friends xD
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. - Nasty true or dare
I enjoy talking on the phone. - Depends on who i am talking too
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop. - Online
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future. - If i would give birth for my wife, i would.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I have a lot to learn.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie. - Unless my mom knows how to
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. - Unless my mom knows how to
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys. - WHAT THE FUCK?
I study for tests most of the time. - Last minutes counted?
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car. - Work what?
I love my job. - As my mom's son?
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have more than just my ears pierced. - Tattoo is more than piercing right? but i aint got piercings.
I have jumped off a bridge. - Buggee Jumping FTW.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream. - I have no goal nor dream. Talk about useless. pfft.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument. - Guitar Hero counted?
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs. - Totally
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without eyeliner. - Come on Denise, give me a quiz which allow guys to answer please.
I don't know why I did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I cant pick up things with my toes. - Small things yes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in. - Blog counted?
I can't stick to a diet. - Do i even need one? -_-
I talk in my sleep. - So that i can record down and laugh at it.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past time. - I did know how to climb.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo. - And i am proud of it!
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. - FYP MATES. not 1 but alot.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist. - I do know how to draw. Wanna see them?
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex. Z
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

Zzzz. some of the questions only target girls. bah. what the fuck. why dont just put in questions like, 'I love periods.' 'I wear bra to sleep.' 'I drool when i see macho guys.'

Well, i keep telling myself to start on my assignments as well as FYP. but then, study is just not in me anymore. and NS is around the corner. SMLJLPLPJWTF FFS give me a life

9 means Long

2008-12-16T19:03:00.003+08:00

In chinese, 9 can mean long and lasting. what come after this? waiting. and then? patience. xD

i always say i have a high endurance level, as well as patience. well it is depends on what i am doing. if i am waiting, it will depends on who i am waiting for. so if i blew my top while waiting for you, it just means you need to improve on your time management skills.

just a quick fact about myself xD

well, yesterday was kinda stress intensive. morning went to Gym and at night went for a hike. and i can tell you, it is scary. imagine yourself in a middle of the forest with no light around except a dim one from on top of you, the moon, and you are surrounded by crazy ass noises from all sorts of animal. what will you do next? run? hide? cower in fear? well, we do this ...

thats right! CAMWHORE! this are my crazy ass bunch of retarded friends. we been through thick and thin together ... i think ... and the best part is it aint over yet. keegen suggested the idea first because his crazy soldier just like to embrace in the freaking nature.

this is some what the proof that we been there. it is really damn dark inside, but the flash did the trick.

i look like a freaking gnome in this picture.

then they started wanting to act fierce in the picture. well, i dont know if i didnt hear it correctly or not, i heard keegen say 'lets flex our biceps'. and i did

not fierce enough? how about this.

nah. still not fierce enough? i shall blow you away with this!

Gangsters in da house!

did i look like a bad ass or what? and by the way, the red eye is making us look like monsters. or just ninja associate with Sasuke xD

well my mom is back, finally. and the first lecture she gave was money issue. well, i had it coming. i spend well too much and she is now on a stricter basis on my allowances now. so the rest of my holiday i am going to be poor. very very poor. and one more thing. FUCKING CHRISTMAS IS COMING! and there still no place to hold all of us! damn it. and my parents come back at the wronngggggg TIME. grrr

tomorrow there is a FYP meeting. should i go, or not?

7 sins cant beat my level 8 emo-ness

2008-12-15T15:33:00.003+08:00

just some random title i put. i need to keep track of the number of days. for what you may ask, well it is for me to know and for you to find out.

everytime i would tell myself, sharing is caring. i would share my joy to whoever is sad or depress. i am not saying that i am poking fun, it is just that i hope to spread the joy so that they will be a little bit happier. but sometimes people just dont think that way. when you share joy, they might think otherwise and maybe to the extent of jealousy. saying why you have such a good life, why you so rich, why you know so many girls etc and shits.

Sharing, to me is important. i was practically a selfish asshole and a stingy in the past. dont believe, ask most of my cliques. they know who i am in the past. but after some time, i grew up and know that will only cause discomfort and all sort of craps. even though i am more generous now, i still have craps all over me.

But then, not everything can be shared. Love for example, cannot be shared. how would you like to share your girlfriend or boyfriend with someone who you dont know, even worse, some one you know. i really respect those anicent people who have more than 1 wifes. how the fuck the wifes can handle having their husband shared? they keep calling each other 'sisters'. but do they really think that way? i believe they are cursing each other behind their back hoping they die or crippled.

Humans are indecisive. they are fucking troublesome animals. god gave us ability to think, which is a good thing, but then they are not as graceful as we think. they gave us a double edged sword. and the other edge is think too much. the meaning of think too much is when you start to think, you dont think too much of the positive stuff. you start thinking all those negatives one. which will in turn make you damn depressed sad emo crap angry furious flared. bah, what am i talking about?

i always believe that whenever you get into a relationship, you bound to take something out of it. not money, not lust, not material stuffs. but something deeper, like lessons learnt. i learnt alot from my last relationship, and i think i say this before. doesnt matter, if it gets repeated, it just means that the lesson is damn freaking important.

and i know that, one last chance is really that important. whenever you lose something important in your life, you will regret. when you regret, that is when you will cherish. but that dont happen to everyone. as for me, i cherish love because i lost it once. i would put love for her, love for family, love for friends above myself. because when my past relationship fails, family and friends played a damn important part to get me back up to what i am now, mould into what i am now. and i know you guys can see it aint a bad thing right? xD come on, give me some confidence and praises, i am typing my true feelings about LIFE here!

why i type this is because of my stupid layer of thoughts. whoever read my blog know what is going on in my life now. yes, Break up.

and please dont get angry because of this blog, jessie. it is not going to make you a bad woman or whatever. love is selfish and blind. i will tell them 100 good things about you to whoever among my friends that talk bad about you. it is just that i need some where to blast my thoughts and i didnt want you to get upset because of what i say. and hence i need time to craft it out into words so that you dont misunderstand. i didnt want to tell you just now is not because i dont want to share, i just need time to think it through, so dont be sad aye?

the reason of breaking up is because she still cant get over her ex-boyfriend. well the whole story is that when they are together, i got in their way. so i am actually the bad guy at the start. so she is not to blame. i should controlled myself. but at that point of time, she is really suffering. i cant bear but to save her. but as i am saving her, i fell for her. yeah, that is about it. xD

and now the situation is she needs to choose, between me or him. but then i know the odds are against me. because she is still deeply in love with him. i dont blame her for that, 3 years relationships is hard to come by. in the past, she might feel blissed more than however long i spend with her.

and one lesson that my past relationship teach me is one last chance. i hope he will learn from his mistakes that he made that resulted in your break-up. and both he would make you smile brighter than ever. you told me he still love you and you are thinking of patching up. but because of me, as i am getting in your way, you aint able to make it. you are scared, you are alone, you are lonely. and in order for you to get the happiness you deserve, i am willing to sacrifice myself.

therefore i am giving up on getting you back. even though my heart aches as i type, even though i tell myself it's going to be alright, it is still hard for me. but then, for your happiness, it is worth it. i dont know how long i might take to get over you, 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 1 year, or forever. but i will always be here when you need me. just that when you want to see me anytime sooner, i would have to reject them. because i dont want you to know where i am ... cos then you see my heart, in the saddest state it's ever been. i will still hope for the day you will come back to me, but i am not going to do anything to get you back. all i want to say, i already did. all i want to do, i already did. it is still up to you to decide who you truely want to be with. just hope you realise it soon enough =)

But i guess ... that i can live without you but without you i'll be miserable at best.

Side story -
it is not like this is the first time i experience this. i mean the waiting to be selected part. in my past relationship, my ex-girlfriend also have that struggled. but we didnt resulted into a break up. i told her i'll give her time to decide on who she really want to be. and in the end she choose me. but i didnt cherish it and it ended miserably. so i think karma now is i will not be chosen? but i am a totally different person from the past. so if karma is going to be cruel to me, i guess i just have to ride that wave. it doesnt matter who she choose now, all i know is i will give my blessing to whoever she choose, and pray to god she choose the right one.

i was born ... to tell you i love you ...
i was torn ... to do what i have to do ...

PS: those in bold just means that i took them from songs i know. i get B for originality.

3 4 5 6

2008-12-13T02:12:00.002+08:00

i've been thinking about it. but it just get all messed up. i cant read those signals and signs anymore. my mind is all clotted up. i cant set my mind and heart straight, and i need some motivation.

Is it all, or nothing at all?

David Cook - Come Back To Me (Listen to this while you read)

i am going to give you time to search from the answers yourself. i am not going to be in your way to hinder your thoughts. i am going to disappear for a moment. when you found the answers, just tell me is it a yes or a no. maybe you already have the answers, you just have to tell me. this will give me the motivation to let myself move on, or be happily ever after. this is no time limit for this, but please dont leave me hanging for too long.

"so, i'll let you go i'll set you free. and when you see what you need to see. and when you found you, come back to me."

"and you hope you find everything that you need. i'll be right here, waiting to see. when you find you, come back to me."

maybe because the signals are all messed up, thats why i dont know whether should i stay or leave. give me the motivation, will you?

Two Paths Seperated

2008-12-09T20:26:00.004+08:00

Thanks for the last date. i think it is a date. or not. i regretted my decision of meeting you today. i told myself you need time, you need time. and in the end the urge of seeing you is unbearable. but when i saw you, the feeling of holding you just hit me. i tried ways to contain myself: walking faster, walking slower, walking on your left side because i know you dont know to hold hands on that side because you are practically retarded when you try to take your stuffs using your left hand. i am trying very hard not to do anything that will make you dislike me. i guess i am trying too hard, and in the end, i am a different person. words dont come out right, sentences dont fit nicely in the conversation. when i am standing behind you in the mrt, i am trying to prevent myself from hugging you. dont label me as a pervert, i'm not. the pain was too much and i tried to bottle those tears in my eyes. i didnt even manage to speak a word once i got on the train. you may find it weird, you may find it a relieve. the way you put your ear piece on and shut out from the world, just practically showed me that i speak way too much, way too much of nonsense. i am completely isolated from you. and the only thing to keep my senses is the smell of your hair that i missed. i keep telling myself i cant go on like this, and my stop just appeared. i didnt even manage to send you back home when i wanted to. but all i know is, the feeling of 'so near yet so far' has struck me. even though i experienced it alot of times, i still cant get used to it. all i am telling myself is: dont do anything funny, just be perfectly fine. and in the end 'perfectly fine' is a total disaster.

some signs i see just made me speechless. the ring around your neck that you keep biting was one of them. i could sense it came from someone dear to you, and that someone is not me. i didnt have the courage to ask who is it from, because i know the answer isnt what i really want to hear. ignorence is bliss i guess, it is better i dont know and stay that way. but the more i look, the more i know how significant it is to you. second was the bag. then i know you are trying hard to forget me. i think, i guess, i feel that way. that was when i know where i finally stand. even though it didnt come out of your mouth, i myself have already come up with the conclusion and that is ... : 'It is the end of our song.'

i dont know if this is what you want to tell me, i dont know if all i have said is the truth, i dont know what to believe anymore. all i know is, the distance between us is getting wider with each passing minutes. even though i dont want that to happen, time just cruelly tear us apart. in the distant future, i might not know how to face you anymore.

anyway, i went to gym in SP today. it wasnt the kind of gym i would return. not saying it sucked, but i prefered yishun's. then i went to eat ice cream at island creamery. the atomsphere was alright. even though the counter girl is a chick, her attitude made me gave her thumb down. maybe she is just sick of the job, maybe she just want a break, maybe she just want some time alone. maybe i am just mr sensitive.

i cant help being sensitive to every little thing during this time of my life. every little thing you do, every little thing you say, can bring different effects to my life. this is how important you are. but i know, i have to survive alone now, because there isnt a place i could fit in your heart anymore.

this is my lunch. i have to eat more before work out because i am scared that i might faint if i used up too much strength and no energy to back me up.

a pretty view i want to share with you. but without you really being there doesnt show the complete beauty of it, because you are the missing piece of the puzzle.

all done and ready to roll!

i try to feed myself with sweet things everyday to stop myself from thinking of you. more like a substitute. but, it is not real. not real at all.

freaking firefox doesnt check my spellings. i think i made countless of spelling mistake in this post.

and now since i know where i stand, i can only be the mime hiding in black and white world and support you silently. i will not ask for anything anymore. and if you eventually need me, you know how to find me. as silence as i might be, my presence can still be felt. which i hope it can be felt.

tomorrow i am going for NS checkup. kenny told me that my phone would have to be contained during the whole of my checkup. good thing? bad thing? does it matter anymore? no one would bother to sms me anymore. NS ... a path of glory? a path of manhood? a path of brotherhood? i dont know anything anymore. as much as i know, Life is meaningless. meaningless.

arh god damn emo. i need to get a hang of myself. i need to find my medical book. i need ...

life still goes on. with or without you

Number One

2008-12-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

i dont know if you will still read this. but i just still want you to know what is going on with my life. it just give me the comfort when i know someone is still looking out for me. even though you might never read it anymore, i am just going to lie to myself that you are still reading. i will make it an effort to update everyday =) because i know, it might just be the one last thing that connects me to you.

well today is just a boring day. it rained from morning till evening. didnt even have the feeling of stepping outside the house. kenny told me that it may just seems that heaven is crying for a couple that is meant to be but got seperated. i wonder how true is that. he might be talking about me.

so i stayed at home doing nothing but practice my singing. or just singing out loud to the songs that i once sang to you. and the thoughts of you just came like a rushing train.

went out to chill for a bit as the emo energy has already whelm up to the brim. nothing interesting for the night as it is still wet and we just dont have the feeling to chill. i wore the hoodie you washed out today. and your smell lingers on it. i was wondering if i am paronoid or it is real. i just kept it close to me whenever thoughts of you came. it just make me feel you are right next to me at times. i even swing my hand out and grab the air as though you are just next to me. silly me.

i found 2 things lieing around my place that was yours: a toothbrush and a hairband. no i am not throwing them away. and no i am not psychopath, i am not going to use your toothbrush. i am just waiting along with the items. waiting for one day the owner will be back to claim ownership of 3 things: Hairband, Toothbrush, and my heart.

tomorrow i am going to SP for gym session that i skipped today. kenny say there are jazuzi and steamroom we can use for free. well, if i could i would take some pictures and show it to you =)

this is what i had just now. but ... nothing taste sweet anymore without you around

Wind

2008-12-08T02:52:00.002+08:00

I think ... this is probably the end. i admit it all came like a whirlwind. and then, she left, like the wind too. i have nothing to wish for. i have nothing to live for. i have nothing to look out for anymore. i just begging that she give me some reasons of letting me go.

phil say he will not let go just because of an sms. he will just push for the reasons and a straight rejection in his face. well, i am different from him i believe. i believe that it is not up to me anymore. even if i show up, nothing wouldnt change if she already made up her mind. even if it would change, it would never be the same anymore.

if you love someone, let her go. if she comes back to you, you 2 will be together forever. if she didnt come back, no point chasing after her shadow, because she is already gone.

I love you, Jessie. and you dont get to hear it for one last time.

The days we spend together were totally different from my mundane life. you really bring true happiness that i have never felt for a long time. and that, i thank you very much. i am looking forward to more time spend with you, but i guess, they will never come anymore.

I am not giving up, no i am not. i am not giving up loving you, and i pray and wish the day will come again that you and i are together. but that, will only be my mere wishes.

The ball is in your court. i wish i can have the courage like phil, to go after what he wanted in life. i couldnt have the courage to accept a rejection by her in my face. a sms would probably enough for me. i just want to remember her ... just like the past.

my heart feels so heavy. and i am so lost. what did i do wrong? ... there is no reason provided.

You found me, walking alone on the street. and gave me light, happiness, joy and love. but why did you leave me, when i fell deeply in love with you.

and i dont think i have the courage to love again, until i know some reason why you left.

I love you ... and no one can replace you, for you are that special in my life.

IF i have ...

2008-12-07T22:47:00.002+08:00

If you have, one shot, one opportunity. seize everything you ever want to be. one moment, to capture, or just let it slip.

3 weeks of holiday seems not enough for me. i have so many things to do, and so little time to deal with them.

my to do list: (ranking most important at the top)

- FYP (yes it is the most important thing now because i havent freaking contribute anything!)
- School assignments (they are piling up ya dig that?)
- Motor practical (never been riding for ... months. and it is going to expire soon.)
- 2.4 training (Napfa in 1 month plus. and i dont think i would like the idea of having 1 month extra)
- Gym session (but i need to get fat first)
- Save enough money to put it back into the bank before my mom bite my head off (or think of excuses to brush her off xD)

that is all i can think of. lets just hope nothing more gets into the list. medical check up in 3 days. going to waste time there =/

all i know is ... i miss her already even though she left my side a few hours ago.

First and Last

2008-12-03T20:35:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be the day! of my First paper! as well as my Last xD thats right! i have only 1 paper for the semester! WooHoo!

i studied with baby yesterday at west coast park. before that i went on the trip to malaysia with phil and pelyn, for no good reason though. xD

it was raining cats and dogs before we even arrived. but the place is a good place to chill. so 60% of the time i am surfing the web and chatting on skype using baby's computer, and i didnt have enough time to finish those slides that is suppose to be finish. xD

Random Shots

The sky turns dark in minutes.

Spot me in the picture.

today was an unproductive day! i didnt study a shit and i am here writing an entry when i should be studying. but the subject really bore me. by reading the title could put me to sleep. met baby today to past her my calculator for her test. and then have lunch with her at 925 before meeting phil. He looks like a zombie i swear. haiz, may god have pity on him and his family.

and this is my dinner for tonight!

yum! 6 slice of fats xD

well time to mug. wish me luck everyone.

Testimonial for Love?

2008-12-01T00:55:00.003+08:00

When i took the train back after sending baby home, i dont have psp to accompany me. so i let my mind drift to whereever it can take me. then i thought about something.

Anyone remember the old friendster? they have something call Testimonial right? now they change to comments, which i think it sucks. i prefer the testimonial thingy because people can actually leave meaningful stuff on your page, rather then chatting using comment. if you want to chat, just use a messager. why do you want to clot the databases with your stupid comments like, 'Hi, i like your hair. can we be friends?', or start replying like an instant messaging. if you want everyone to know what you guys are talking about, just start a blog with a massive tagboard then.

a bit sidetracked. okay, lets get back to the main point. Testimonial. How many people actually think that they themselves are not that bad , but are so rotten in luck when it comes to relationship? Who thinks that why they just cant find that mister or miss Right? Who thinks they had enough of broken heart? Who thinks that it doesnt matter anymore, just settle down and get along with life?

What if, there is such thing as Testimonial for Love? Like, your ex boyfriends or girlfriends wrote about what they think about the relationship, what went wrong, what they think about you when it comes to handling the relationship. stuffs like that, you know what i mean. this doesnt mean you must change because your ex think that this part of you sucks. it is just to let other people know that you have this type of flaw. but one man's treasure is another man's junk. so it might have a different outcome with different people. PS: EX, are EX. unless you guys still have feelings for each other. if not, most of what they say when breaking up should be dissing you you and you. none is their fault.

This will ensure people who read your Testimonials know what kind of person you are. some people handles love and friendship differently. so you might be amazed at some people (some people that i know actually have this problem) on how they handle this 2 different relationships. this also can let people who have the same problem know that they are not alone. People always say that no one will understand their pain. IF YOU DONT SAY, WHO KNOWS? there are so many millions of people, i dont believe no one share the same type of life. God might be omnipotent, but i dont think he or she has the creativity to create millions different problems right?

After knowing you are not alone, people tend to feel better and start opening up. This will also ease the pain of nasty break up and stuff. and maybe due to this, they might have enough courage to take on another relationship again!

'What you learn best is not from success, but from mistakes.'

People who read your Testimonial written by your ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends can then see if you fit in their life or not. Some sort of those adultfriendfinder stuff, but instead of featuring what is your interests, this features your flaws! To love someone, we dont only love what they are good at, we also compromise their flaws. So what if he or she is best at everything you like, but his or her flaw is something you hate the most. wouldnt it be a scam when you only see the good side of him or her in those stupid websites and neglect on those flaws? advertisement. using the good points to sell yourself. bah.

Ugly is the new beautiful. that is what 'Ugly Betty' taught me.

I also remember from a chinese show i watched before talking about relationship. the show says that at the end of every relationship, you bring something along the way into your next new relationship. It is like each and one of the relationship teaches you something. Unless you are some self centered freaks who keeps thinking you did nothing wrong and your partner is at fault, or you are unwilling to think about why your relationship fails like crap, you will surely learn something. For example, me. I did learn something from my past relationships and i am grateful for ex-girlfriends because they taught me how to love.

Like i say from my previous quote, learn from your mistake. If you know you are god damn stubborn when dealing with your past relationship (yes i mean you IRWIN.), start to be less stubborn. If you know you are a person who gets jealous easily (no example yet i think. wait i think i have. MinYi? not really sure though), try to trust your partner more. depends on what he or she did, there must be a reason behind it. if not, then you have the reason to be angry xD i know it is hard to change, and not changes doesnt mean good. but then, if your current state sucks, why dont anticipate changes? for better or worse, it is still better than stuck in the middle of no where. Future holds no tale until you uncover it yourself. Just like the upcoming movie, 'Yes Man'. He say no to everything in his life and made no advances. But when he starts to say yes, his life starts changing. i bet he becomes a more happier man in the end, which i dont know yet because it hasnt screen in singapore yet. xD but i would definitely catch it.

well, Testimonial for Love. Good or bad idea? please comment on my tag to give me your opinions. i am starting to wonder why people come and go and dont leave a message. makes me think no one actually read what i wrote. HEY PEOPLE, THIS IS THE FIRST INTELLIGENT POST I POSTED! prove me wrong if it is not intelligent, at least i know someone actually read my wall of text.

gosh. 3am. i have to wake up in 4 hours to wake baby up for her test. =/

Goods coming!

2008-11-26T23:10:00.004+08:00

alright! 2 bags and 1 hoodies and 4 shirts are coming my way! hope i am around to receive them!

i just had a haircut again, which is only 2 weeks after i got my previous haircut.

this is a shot i took after i cut it, does it look different? i think it is. babe say it doesnt. well, her hair does look shorter, in some way. today is also the first time i had someone to wash my hair. and it cost $9 dollars with some massages that isnt that impressive. xD

watched chihuahua today. wasnt a bad show. should i or should i not get Munchkin? i mean it is a card game, a RPG card game. do you guys think it is geeky?

went to NYP with keegen yesterday to find Phil for lunch. and this is my lunch.

i purposely emptied it and took a photo and MMS babe. she is having sore throat and high fever so she can only have bread. taunting her xD

and after that, i ate this ice cream and brownie introduced by phil. this time round, i want to show what i am going to eat as another tempting event.

after that, we had nothing to do. and keegen or phil suggested we should play LAN. and we proceed to the nearest LAN shop, raiders. on our way there, Keegen's army ki siao spirit went on rampage. as a result ...

he freaking did a few pullups and sweat like a dog and complain about the weather. he is mad, fo sho. after a couple of games, phil decided to meet his love of his life, or the master of his life. he has become a slave, haiz. then me and keegen didnt know what to eat. after roaming like some hungry dogs around AMK hub, we settled at the food court and had the crappiest meal ever. i didnt even finish.

so we decided to have a second round ...

Toastbox. but i still prefer Yakun.

SHIT! my sister isnt going to be at home to receive my package and i am in school! rest of the family is not at home too! ARH! it means i have to ... ... KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!

The reasons

2008-11-25T10:38:00.002+08:00

why cant everyone just get along?

why cant everyone just realize each others importance?

why cant anyone realize that everyone is important to me?

why cant anyone realize that i dont want to lose anyone in my life?

why cant anyone realize that everytime i say no one around me will die so early and before me and i really mean it?

ahh, harsh reality. time to spend money =/

Things i never say

2008-11-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

i need to shoot balls, badly.

i need to do my assignments, badly.

i need to do my FYP, badly.

i need to chill, badly.

but nothing of the above beat how much i need you, badly.